Skinny Jeans

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At seven weeks post pardom I am very much not back into my skinny jeans!

You know what I am back into? My maternity jeans.

A fact that I am celebrating!

It has been a very long road to recovery after having had an extensive surgery to deliver Maddox into our arms. The first six weeks clothing wise took on a progression from hospital mesh underwear, into maternity underwear and night shirts. Then came an array of over sized pajamas and long skirts pulled up under my boobs like this was the 1980’s because any pressure anywhere near or around my incision site was pure agony. After a few weeks of long skirts I graduated into sweat pants and things with elastic waistbands. First pulled up as high or low as possible and then gradually falling into a more normal position.

Because abdominal surgery hurts. like. hell. And it takes a long time to recover from mentally, emotionally and physically.  Add in the extra degree of difficulty known as nursing to dressing and my wardrobe becomes obsolete. This would not be the ideal time for a What Not To Wear intervention.

However after seven long weeks I am back into my maternity jeans. Yay! You know the ones that never stay on your waist, that your constantly hiking back up due to incessant sagging in the ass region. And what an oxymoron to sell a “skinny” version of a maternity jean. Thanks for that one advertisers! Yet the feel of denim against my flesh never felt so good! It means I am healing. Slowly but surely.

And finally feeling a little better I also have a clearance for modified activity. I can kinda sorta start to work out again. The problem is I am still bleeding and anything too strenuous makes the area around my incision swell. How do those celebrities do it? Inquiring minds want to know. And what man decided six weeks was enough time to recover from pushing a skin and bones human being from your body? Let alone major abdominal surgery??? If you’ve ever delivered a baby you know it had to have been a man who came up with that little unfortunate gem.

I will be completely honest. At seven weeks I am not happy with my post pardom body and quite frankly there’s nada, zero, zilch I can do about it right now. I’m like a horse in the gates waiting for the block to open to let me race. I know the work that will go into “getting my body back.” which I’ve done twice before. What I need is my body to heal enough so that I can do it once again. Currently I have fifteen pounds to loose but more importantly muscle mass and flexibility to regain. I will not starve myself like Tori Spelling but when the time does come and the gate does open, I will cross fit until my eye balls burn.

Why? Because if you love and accept your post pardom body, that is fantastic. Don’t change a thing! That is what it is all about. Accepting and loving. Not other people’s acceptance and love, but your own. I will work my body until I love it and then I will continue to work to maintain it because that is something that is important to me in my life. I happen to be one of those weirdoes who loves to exercise and if your not happy in your body, doing something about it can make all the difference in your life as a whole.

Getting back into my skinny jeans, the ones with an actual zipper and button, typically takes me a good sixteen months to accomplish in reality and it tends to be the measure used to judge readiness for my next baby. Since the last two times I’ve gotten back into my skinny jeans I found myself pregnant again soon after. (Coincidence? I think not). But for now I won’t be walking any runways or doing any commercials promoting any diet plan that got me my pre baby body back a month post pardom. I will just be sitting here waiting until my body tells me it’s go time. And really is there any such thing as returning to a pre baby body post baby? I think not!

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About The Author



I am a food allergy mama of 4 boys, a former fashion designer, and a master of the five point palm exploding heart technique, keeping it Fantastico.

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