It’s happened again, and again, and again. Sometimes it’s a quick comment from a stranger. Sometimes we come around to the topic during conversation, but in any case, somehow I am constantly on the receiving end of weight judgement, as if it means something. The sad fact is that I can’t be the only one. I hear it two to three times a day on average exclusively from other women, but why?
This past weekend we were waiting in line to see good Ole Saint Nick when the woman behind us couldn’t help but go into a whole diatribe on how skinny I am. She honestly could not control her need to speak for whatever reason and I took that as my cue to ensure the boys did not pull the flat screen television off of the table that they were watching as a way to prevent the onslaught of verbal diarrhea.
We then reached the front of the line where Santa’s assistant immediately commented first on the fact that we have three boys, which she then followed up with “that’s why you’re so skinny and fit.”
Sure, maybe I shouldn’t complain that women keep commenting on how skinny I am. Maybe I should shut my mouth and be flattered since I’m not someone whose received one of those fat shamming cards going around recently, but my problem is not what the comments detail but why we feel they are necessary or appropriate. A man would never comment on another mans weight, especially when they are strangers. So why are women constantly doing it?
What these women do not know is that I am actually twenty pounds heavier than I am used to. That those twenty are left over from my last bundle of joy because due to surgical issues I can not do even a single crunch without incredible pain. What they do not know is that no, I am not happy with my body shape at the moment, even if it is considered “skinny.”
I don’t mind being a bit heavier than normal but I do mind the weakness in my core which affects my whole body and the fact that I essentially can not do anything about it. I have been an athlete my whole life, to not be able to get back in the game, it hurts.
But can we all just stop it.
I will never comment on another woman’s weight unless she is a close personal friend who I know is specifically working on it and making strides. When you speak about weight to another woman you have no idea how she feels about it. You admire how skinny she is, yet she suffers silently from an eating disorder. You fat shame her, yet you have no idea that she spends her mornings and evenings sweating in the gym and strictly controls her portions without much visible success. She’s so thin, because she’s just had a heartbreak and can’t bear to eat or maybe she’s “put on a few,” for the same reason. It really does not matter because it is none of your business and as a stranger you have no right to comment.
Can we all make a pact, as women working towards empowering one another and stop it with the weight comments. Talk about what a great mother I am to my three knuckleheads, how impressive catching that 32 inch t.v. was, that my dear will go a great deal further.