Resolutions: Coupons

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I have never made a New Year’s resolution that I have ever kept. Sure I have done things but not under the stress and pressure of a resolution. I quit smoking almost ten years ago but that was on St. Patrick’s Day when in Dublin with my older brother. Is there such a thing as a St. Patty’s resolution? Anyway I digress.

Our family has been on such a roller coaster for what seems like forever and I have decided this is the year to get off. To direct my attentions. Resolutions?

In 2012 I have made some decisions, not resolutions but decisions.

If I am going to be a stay-at-home mom then I am going to be the gold metal winning Olympian of my household. I’ve already grabbed our diets by the balls and now I’ve turned my eyes to couponing. I figure if I can’t make money I may as well be doing all I can to save money.

Now I’ve never watched that television show about extreme couponing. I try to avoid all things extreme since the last time we attempted anything adventurous I broke my tail bone. so I will stick to moderately active couponing. At this moment I am actually watching Kourtney & Kim take New York and Kourtney is venturing into the deep, dark world of coupons. How symbiotic.

What I want is to save some money off of our monthly expenses. Not 50 jars of bargain mayonnaise. Come to think of it we do now have a gutted unused basement thanks to Irene which would be perfect for this kind of addiction… Also I wonder what would happen if an extreme couponer and a horder got married… Hillarity just might ensue.

I diligently did my research on the various web sites and forums devoted to couponing. Printed coupons off of a few of them. Gathered the coupons I had already saved and drove my ass. in the cold. to Walmart.

There are a few things about couponing I’m not fond of. 1. is that most of the coupons I am finding are not on the things we are eating. Food products tend to have dairy, soy or gluten in them if not all three. 2. part of the idea behind saving the most with coupons involves shopping different stores. their fliers. and striking while the proverbial iron is hot.

I hate remembering stuff. It’s hard and it hurts my brain. I blame it on the babies. So to keep track of which store sells what at which price makes me a bit anxious. very anxious actually especially when our diet is continuously evolving.

So I went to Walmart with my coupons in tow and as the cashier made her way to my pile of printed coupons, she grabbed them and darted to her manager. Surprising that she is a cashier at Walmart and has never seen printed coupons… but her manager told her to scan them. try them. see if they work.

This made me even more nervous.

All of my resources say these D.I.Y. coupons work but I thought for sure my printed coupons would go horribly wrong and the register would burst into flames at the attempted scanning of the very first one.

As she brought that hand held scanner up to that piece of paper. (My printer printed the coupons on both side of the paper. noobie mistake. I know.) The computer took the coupon and deducted the two bucks and we both let out a collective deep breath. Six dollars saved! If this was ten years ago I could buy a pack of cigarettes with the savings.

It appears that in the aftermath or our latest economic collapse that I am not the only one taking measures to save or at least to spend less. Couponing and extreme couponing are T.V. shows people lust after because for the most part we are all struggling. Unless you are one of the lucky few. So those who might otherwise turn their backs on coupons are now diving in full force. And why not. You never know when you might need 50 containers of ketchup. The zombie Apocalypse could be right around the corner and the combination of the couponer and hoarder just might end up the only survivors. Repopulating the earth. O lord. We are in trouble.

Oh and yeah I did say I Keep up with the Kardashians. You read that right. and yes a little part of me does die inside after every episode. What can I say they entertain me in the same way this does.

About The Author

I am a food allergy mama of 4 boys, a former fashion designer, and a master of the five point palm exploding heart technique, keeping it Fantastico.

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